Learning to Walk with a Limp

I have some pretty cool scars from my childhood days, and each one tells a story.

The horizontal scar across my right knee reminds me of the day that, as a little boy, (I had to add that part so you didn’t think I tried this last week)… I decided to swing as high as I possibly could on our neighbor’s enormously long tire swing, then, at the highest point, jump out and open an umbrella. (Don’t judge me. I saw it work once on the original Batman TV show.) My visions of floating safely to the ground ended abruptly as I slammed into a pile of gravel and split my kneecap in half. (That’s why, to this day, I can’t do the tango. Well, that and that fact that I just can’t dance.) Yeah, I definitely remember that scar!

The weird shaped scar on my left knee came from falling on a broken piece of glass in the field behind our house in South Africa. The one on my thumb is from when a utility knife slipped and gashed deep. My slightly crooked nose takes me back to the soccer match when I got my nose shattered in a nasty collision with another player. (By the way, Bryan, I still can’t breathe properly. I know it’s been more than 25 years, but I haven’t completely given up the idea of a law suit. I would donate the money to a good cause… like getting myself a new nose that actually works! “I’m not bitter… I’m not bitter.”)

The scar on the back of my head reminds me of the time my bike hit a hole and stopped dead, throwing me over the handlebars, only to have the bike flip over on top of me, and a bolt sticking out of the back fender impaled itself into my head. I can still remember the look of terror on my mother’s face when I went running into the house with my shirt completely soaked in blood. (Don’t get the idea I was a difficult child. That’s nonsense, no matter what my sister says.)

When I think back on those days, it’s amazing I’m still alive. No wonder I don’t panic when I watch my son flying through the air off huge ramps on his skateboard. He’s accumulating his own collection of scars, and each one of them will make his journey through life unique and memorable. (And they’ll drain my life’s savings on medical bills along the way. It’s payback, in a not-so-funny sort of way.) But hey, that’s part of the fun of having a son.

And then there are the scars no one can see. The scars on my bones from multiple broken arms, multiple broken toes, a cracked wrist… and when the weather gets cold and rainy, I’m reminded of those hidden scars because those spots ache and throb as if to say, “Do you remember?”

I do, indeed, remember.

There is something strangely beautiful and wondrous about scars. If you’ve ever studied the body’s healing process, you can’t help but marvel at the mystery of it all. Scars are reminders of a hurt that took place, but scars are also reminders of healing that followed. God could have easily designed it so that wounds would heal leaving absolutely no trace of the pain, but the more you read the Bible, the more you realize that God doesn’t work that way. God is pretty big on creating “mile markers” along the pathways of life.

In the Old Testament, people who had encountered God in a significant way stopped wherever they were and built an altar. That sounds pretty odd to us, but basically they would stack a bunch of rocks up into a pile to serve as a reminder to everyone who passed by that God had met with them there. I can picture a family walking along a dusty road in Palestine, and after rounding a bend, the little girl looks up and says, “Daddy, look! Somebody made a big pile of rocks. What’s that for?” And the father would have an opportunity to explain to his children that it was a marker someone built to remind them of their encounter with God.

It’s a shame, really, that our modern society doesn’t have any similar practice of leaving visible markers along our paths to serve as reminders of an encounter with God. But we do have scars — spiritual scars that each has a story to tell of a time when God touched us and left His mark on us. And the truth is, no one in history has ever had a genuine encounter with the God of heaven and walked away unchanged… unmarked… un-scarred.

Sometimes the scars God leaves on us come from a wound in our heart that He healed with a gentle touch. Other times the scars are more severe, and cause us to walk with a limp for the rest of our lives, because God — as our loving Shepherd — had to break our leg in order to keep us from wandering away from the flock. I have both.

A few nights ago I went back and read the story of Jacob again. You remember Jacob, right? He was a bad dude, a crafty guy, a deceiver. He conned his own brother out of his birthright, for crying out loud. That’s cold. His brother, Esau, was ticked off, to say the least, and Jacob hightailed it out of town before his brother beat the tar out of him. But one night God intersected Jacob’s path in what can only be described as a bizarre encounter which I can’t even begin to fully explain. God, in some form that we don’t really understand, actually wrestled with Jacob. And it was clear at this stage of Jacob’s life of scheming and running, that he was finally ready to do business with God, because during this wrestling match, Jacob refused to let go until God “blessed” him. (A pretty gutsy request, I’d say, considering the life he’d led up to that point!) And in God’s amazing love and grace, He did give Jacob a new start… in fact, He gave Jacob a new name — Israel. (Ring any bells?) How crazy is that?! God took this deceiver, met him at his point of desperation, turned his life around, and then made him the father of a great nation!

But, as I said before, no one encounters God and walks away unchanged… and Jacob was certainly no exception. During that strange wrestling match, God put His mark on Jacob — scarred him, if you will. God touched Jacob’s hip and caused him to walk with a limp. At the conclusion of that story, the Bible says that Jacob had seen God face to face and lived, and then it says, “The sun rose above Jacob, and he was limping because of his hip.”

Wow, what an amazing scene! Jacob, the deceiver, goes into an encounter with God — arrogant, cocky, walking just fine on his own two feet… and he comes out with a new name, a new purpose, and a limp that will serve as a reminder to him every day for the rest of his life. I imagine there were many mornings from then on that Jacob got out of bed and started to walk across the room, and when he took that first step and felt his hip give way… his mind went back to that life-changing meeting with God… and he remembered!

I’m sure there were days when having to walk with a limp was incredibly frustrating for Jacob — a man who was used to being on the run. I’ll bet he even asked God to fix it, just like the apostle Paul asked God to remove his “thorn in the flesh.” I must be honest with you and tell you that I have some “scars” that I wish would go away. There are days now and then when I feel like they’re going to kill me. And yet, despite the fact that I’ve asked God to remove them, He sees a greater purpose in letting me keep them. It seems that God delights in using broken things… He uses broken soil to produce a crop, broken clouds to produce rain, broken grain to give bread, broken bread to give strength, and broken lives to show forth His greatness.

We see Peter weeping bitterly in his brokenness and then rising in greater power than ever before to lead the fledgling church into its greatest days. I guarantee you that Peter carried the scars of denying Jesus for the rest of his life, and I have no doubt that many a night Peter lay quietly in the darkness before falling asleep and mentally “ran his finger” across that scar, remembering with tears that painful moment… but also remembering with great joy how Jesus had so gently healed the scar and restored Peter to usefulness once again.

So let me ask you something. What “scars” do you have in your life? What “limps” seem to be slowing you down and causing you frustration? Perhaps it’s time you stopped trying to hide them. Perhaps it’s time to stop feeling embarrassed by them. Maybe you need to forget about trying to fix them or making them go away… and instead, ask God to use those very things — those weaknesses, those dreadful mistakes from your past — to show His strength through you. There’s a good chance that God will use those things as “altars” along the pathway of your journey, and they will serve not only as reminders for you, but as a testimony to everyone else who passes by.

Don’t underestimate the power of scars. Don’t underestimate the importance of learning to walk with a limp. They are blessings in disguise. The fact is that no one — not a single one of us — will ever truly understand what it means to walk with God and see our lives make an impact for Him until we have learned to walk with a limp. It’s proof, you see — proof that we’ve been with God, that we’ve wrestled with Him, and that we have not walked away unchanged. Every time you see one of your scars… every time you are reminded of your limp… take a moment to remember. Number yourself among the blessed ones who carry the marks of God, and rejoice in knowing that those scars are proof that He knows you by name, and that He has come close enough to touch you.

2 Corinthians 12:9, 10 — But he (Jesus) said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

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